Books, Arts & Manners: Cable Gal

‘I’M watching Lifetime.” These are words that no man wants to hear, especially from his girlfriend. The evening ahead has just been poisoned. He will be transformed from Top Gun into Tailhook. He will be shunned as a suitor who just does not “get it.” He will be accused, indicted, and condemned, found guilty by association with his shabby fellow males and their vile crimes—the crimes that Lifetime, cable’s “Must-She TV,” loves to detail.

As part, no doubt, of its mission. Lifetime is now available in 69.5 million households. The channel’s purpose is, it claims, to provide “contemporary, innovative entertainment and information programming of particular interest to women.” And so you find cooking shows, reruns of The Golden Girls, and programs about babies. But, above all, you find movies about bad guys. Lots of them. There are men who murder, chaps who cheat, and husbands who hit. Taken individually, these movies (most of which are not actually made by Lifetime) are unexceptional, but show them day after day and they become something else. In effect, Lifetime uses its movie selections to create one endless loop of The Perils of Pauline, with a script by Anita Hill and special effects by Lorena Bobbitt.

About the Author

Andrew Stuttaford

Andrew Stuttaford is the editor of National Review's Capital Matters.

Featured Tags

‘I’M watching Lifetime.” These are words that no man wants to hear, especially from his girlfriend. The evening ahead has just been poisoned. He will be transformed from Top Gun into Tailhook. He will be shunned as a suitor who just does not “get it.” He will be accused, indicted, and condemned, found guilty by association with his shabby fellow males and their vile crimes—the crimes that Lifetime, cable’s “Must-She TV,” loves to detail.

As part, no doubt, of its mission. Lifetime is now available in 69.5 million households. The channel’s purpose is, it claims, to provide “contemporary, innovative entertainment and information programming of particular interest to women.” And so you find cooking shows, reruns of The Golden Girls, and programs about babies. But, above all, you find movies about bad guys. Lots of them. There are men who murder, chaps who cheat, and husbands who hit. Taken individually, these movies (most of which are not actually made by Lifetime) are unexceptional, but show them day after day and they become something else. In effect, Lifetime uses its movie selections to create one endless loop of The Perils of Pauline, with a script by Anita Hill and special effects by Lorena Bobbitt.