America’s Missing-Socks Crisis

January 6. The Presidential Commission on Missing Socks issued its report today on a problem that affects an estimated 79 million Americans each year. After an intense seven-year effort, the commission concluded that “most missing socks will never be found.” Where are they? The commission, despite its $23-million budget, could not guess, but did say “there is a good chance all the missing socks are in the same place.”

The commission has been plagued by scandal from its outset. One of the commission members resigned after the New York Times reported that his name was in the “known-deviate” file of the New York City Police Department (listed as “foot fetishist”). But the most severe criticism has come from Congress.

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Robert F. Dame

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January 6. The Presidential Commission on Missing Socks issued its report today on a problem that affects an estimated 79 million Americans each year. After an intense seven-year effort, the commission concluded that “most missing socks will never be found.” Where are they? The commission, despite its $23-million budget, could not guess, but did say “there is a good chance all the missing socks are in the same place.”

The commission has been plagued by scandal from its outset. One of the commission members resigned after the New York Times reported that his name was in the “known-deviate” file of the New York City Police Department (listed as “foot fetishist”). But the most severe criticism has come from Congress.