Playing the Academic Game

Academicus Mentor. Hawthorn Books, $2.75 ly between his teeth and a flock of adoring students at his feet. But by the time this same student has re- ceived his first appointment as a low- ly instructor, he has probably long since realized that the academic pro- fession is not quite so idyllic. As a matter of fact it can be, at times, nothing less than a dirty fist fight for promotion, in which the victor

Aca- demicus Mentor, repeats one theme throughout the book: Keep your mouth shut, especially when a col- league is the topic. of conversation. “A customary indoor sport of aca- demic men is the dissection of other members of the profession. Never per- mit yourself to be drawn into such folly. Academic men are frequently cold fish, whose brains have gone to their heads. Warmth, sympathy, and human kindness they may exhibit in their books, but in their everyday relations these traits are often con- spicuously wanting.” At faculty dis- cussions, meetings of learned societies, and so forth, try to look intelligent but avoid speaking at all costs. For some reason, people confuse golden silence with wisdom and profundity. Besides, the silent type of person usually can develop several reputa- tions just by letting his colleagues use their imaginations. No matter what a new teacher has to say, no matter how sharp his perception hap- pens to be, his older superiors will 1344. NartionaL REVIEW judge him as a bright but dangerous young man, who is bound to cause trouble. Perhaps Academicus Mentor has learned all of this from bitter experience. Dea IS ONE and only one way up the ladder of academic advancement and that is publishing. But the young professor should not be discouraged if he happens to suffer from a com- plete lack of originality and new ideas. Rather than shock his col- leagues (especially the ones who de- termine tenure) with new interpre- tations and new insights, the scholar should limit himself to factual ma- terial which can be easily and sys- tematically pasted together; in this way he will earn the gratitude of his | colleagues and avoid the responsi- bility of defending new ideas. For the teacher who wants to get ahead and yet write as little as possible, Academicus Mentor has several good suggestions. For example, one can work on the definitive biography of some important figure. This kind of task can take decades to finish and, in the meantime, people in the pro- R ecords fession will refer to the researcher as so-and-so, the great (insert name here) scholar, even though the work has not appeared in print. ‘“Unpub- lished works,” says Mentor, “always give others the opportunity of over- estimating your abilities.” There must be thousands of drop- – out teachers roaming the streets to- day, who never quite got over the > shock of discovering that members of the academic profession also share all the petty vices of the human race. There have been critics of academe and certainly no lack of crusaders who would like to see an end to the method of advancement which takes into account only a teacher’s publi- cations and not his teaching. For better or worse, however, the present system looks as if it will be able to withstand many and repeated attacks for some time to come. Meanwhile, if you can’t beat the academic game, the next best thing is to join it. . and play by the rules. Up the Ivy, in spite of its satire and humor, will serve as a perfect rule book for those who would like to know just how the game is played.

TD

About the Author

Thomas Day

Academicus Mentor. Hawthorn Books, $2.75 ly between his teeth and a flock of adoring students at his feet. But by the time this same student has re- ceived his first appointment as a low- ly instructor, he has probably long since realized that the academic pro- fession is not quite so idyllic. As a matter of fact it can be, at times, nothing less than a dirty fist fight for promotion, in which the victor

Aca- demicus Mentor, repeats one theme throughout the book: Keep your mouth shut, especially when a col- league is the topic. of conversation. “A customary indoor sport of aca- demic men is the dissection of other members of the profession. Never per- mit yourself to be drawn into such folly. Academic men are frequently cold fish, whose brains have gone to their heads. Warmth, sympathy, and human kindness they may exhibit in their books, but in their everyday relations these traits are often con- spicuously wanting.” At faculty dis- cussions, meetings of learned societies, and so forth, try to look intelligent but avoid speaking at all costs. For some reason, people confuse golden silence with wisdom and profundity. Besides, the silent type of person usually can develop several reputa- tions just by letting his colleagues use their imaginations. No matter what a new teacher has to say, no matter how sharp his perception hap- pens to be, his older superiors will 1344. NartionaL REVIEW judge him as a bright but dangerous young man, who is bound to cause trouble. Perhaps Academicus Mentor has learned all of this from bitter experience. Dea IS ONE and only one way up the ladder of academic advancement and that is publishing. But the young professor should not be discouraged if he happens to suffer from a com- plete lack of originality and new ideas. Rather than shock his col- leagues (especially the ones who de- termine tenure) with new interpre- tations and new insights, the scholar should limit himself to factual ma- terial which can be easily and sys- tematically pasted together; in this way he will earn the gratitude of his | colleagues and avoid the responsi- bility of defending new ideas. For the teacher who wants to get ahead and yet write as little as possible, Academicus Mentor has several good suggestions. For example, one can work on the definitive biography of some important figure. This kind of task can take decades to finish and, in the meantime, people in the pro- R ecords fession will refer to the researcher as so-and-so, the great (insert name here) scholar, even though the work has not appeared in print. ‘“Unpub- lished works,” says Mentor, “always give others the opportunity of over- estimating your abilities.” There must be thousands of drop- – out teachers roaming the streets to- day, who never quite got over the > shock of discovering that members of the academic profession also share all the petty vices of the human race. There have been critics of academe and certainly no lack of crusaders who would like to see an end to the method of advancement which takes into account only a teacher’s publi- cations and not his teaching. For better or worse, however, the present system looks as if it will be able to withstand many and repeated attacks for some time to come. Meanwhile, if you can’t beat the academic game, the next best thing is to join it. . and play by the rules. Up the Ivy, in spite of its satire and humor, will serve as a perfect rule book for those who would like to know just how the game is played.