The Current Wisdom

General Tooey Spaatz is best remembered at the Pentagon for two things. The first is his name. It is said that during his long career he was never confused with another Tooey Spaatz. The second is the set of rules he laid down for Air Force officers testifying before congressional committees. After years of refining them, General Spaatz gave his boys these simple, practical instructions: 1) Don’t try to be funny. 2) Don’t lie. 3) Don’t blurt out the truth.

Tooey would have made a helluva campaign manager. A columnist observing the current campaign thinks wistfully of the possibilities: suppose, just suppose, that the Republican candidate in each of his meetings with the press had observed not one, not two, but all three of Tooey’s rules? If he had done so, Dr. Gallup and Dr. Harris would be meeting under the Central Park aqueduct at midnight, making furtive arrangements to restore their reputations for psephological probity. The race would be over, with Carter and Anderson fighting for last.

About the Author

Neal B. Freeman

Neal B. Freeman, businessman and journalist, was a director of National Review Inc. for 38 years.

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Presidential Election

General Tooey Spaatz is best remembered at the Pentagon for two things. The first is his name. It is said that during his long career he was never confused with another Tooey Spaatz. The second is the set of rules he laid down for Air Force officers testifying before congressional committees. After years of refining them, General Spaatz gave his boys these simple, practical instructions: 1) Don’t try to be funny. 2) Don’t lie. 3) Don’t blurt out the truth.

Tooey would have made a helluva campaign manager. A columnist observing the current campaign thinks wistfully of the possibilities: suppose, just suppose, that the Republican candidate in each of his meetings with the press had observed not one, not two, but all three of Tooey’s rules? If he had done so, Dr. Gallup and Dr. Harris would be meeting under the Central Park aqueduct at midnight, making furtive arrangements to restore their reputations for psephological probity. The race would be over, with Carter and Anderson fighting for last.