Advice to Princeton Alumni

I’ve made a careful study of the situation here and I have good news for you. Princeton has only one problem: The lunatics are running the asylum.

Princeton was once a place we sent our loved ones who were going through one of life’s most ludicrous and irrational states—puberty … in the hope they’d pick up some useful knowledge, and, more importantly, some useful connections. And to get them out of our sight while their minds and their complexions cleared up.