… Time magazine’s Sonja Steptoe, for the opening paragraph in this article about real estate in Las Vegas:

Now that several high rollers in the Las Vegas condo-hotel game, with properties linked to the likes of Michael Jordan and Ivana Trump, are either folding or selling their holdings, a growing number of players are losing their taste for big bets on high-rise residential real estate development.

Steptoe puts a lock on the title with “Buyers, mostly interested in flipping them for quick profits, eagerly anted up five-figure down payments” in the second paragraph, and “the developers with experience building luxury high-rises, whose properties are located on or near the Strip and carry a strong and recognizable brand name — such as Donald Trump, Hard Rock and MGM Grand — are the ones playing winning hands in Vegas now” near the end.

Given that the article was about Vegas and referenced Donald Trump, I’m surprised there were no prostitution puns. What about “only players with strong pimp hands — like Donald Trump — are keeping the unruly condo market from running back home to its family.”