Somebody needs to make the following mash-up in the style of those Coors Light ads. (All of Obama’s lines are drawn from last night’s press conference.)

Dr. Obama: Good evening. Please be seated.Father: It’s 10:30 in the morning.
Dr. Obama: A time when everybody’s getting hammered.
Father: Uh, ok… listen, my son has these blisters on his feet from soccer practice, and some of them look a little infected.
Dr. Obama: Maybe they have allergies.
Father: The blisters? I don’t think so. I’ve been putting Neosporin on them –
Dr. Obama: Instead of having a foot amputation.
Father: What?!
Dr. Obama: The government already is making some of these decisions.
Father: I don’t want his foot amputated! I just want a stronger antibiotic.
Dr. Obama: If there’s a blue pill and a red pill, and the blue pill is half the price of the red pill and works just as well, why not pay half price?
Father: Sounds good. I’ll take the blue pill.
Dr. Obama: Well, before we talk about how to pay for it, let’s talk about what exactly needs to be done.
Father: What do you mean? Just write the prescription and I’ll give him the pill.
Dr. Obama: You know what? I make a lot more money if I take this kid’s tonsils out.
Father: There’s nothing wrong with his tonsils!
Dr. Obama: They’re too big to fail.
Father: I’m not going to let you do that.
Dr. Obama: The government already is making some of these decisions.
Father: C’mon son, we’re going. There are plenty of other doctors in this town.
Dr. Obama: If you guys want to do them, then you got to put something into the kitty.
Father: Why is this door locked?
Dr. Obama: I don’t think there are a lot of secrets going on in there.
Father: Let us out!
Dr. Obama: The government already is making some of these decisions.