Very funny column from the Pittsubug Tribune-Review’s Eric Heyl. An excerpt:

NEW YORK (Exaggerated Press) — Embattled CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric today filed a $70 million lawsuit against the network challenging her eventual dismissal. Couric is seeking damages for the inevitability of her being the scapegoat for the newscast’s consistently awful ratings. Since she became anchor barely a year ago, the program’s audience has plummeted from an average of 10.2 million viewers nightly to 5.4 million. “It is our belief that CBS executives will soon reach a point where they no longer will tolerate paying Katie $15 million a year to be an audience sieve,” a Couric attorney said. Commenting on the lawsuit’s curious timing, the attorney asserted that former anchor Dan Rather made a serious tactical error in waiting two years after he was ousted before suing CBS last week.