As we all know by now, the Iraq story must be the Vietnam story in order to make sense of the media narrative. So hot on the heels of the bomb blast in the Iraqi parliamentary diner yesterday, the race is on to see who gets to write the final chapter. Unable to resist waiting until April 30, when every story about Iraq will have the word “Saigon” in the headline, The Independent takes its shot early:

The spectre of Saigon looms over Baghdad

The big finale:

The US “surge” already seemed to be in trouble; yesterday’s bombing showed that the citadel could be breached. If and when the US abandons Iraq, this day will mark the beginning of that end.

Then what? Parades? And besides, that’s not the end. What about the Communist “reeducation camps” chapter? And the exciting Pol Pot chapter? Well, you can forget that. According to the Daily Telegraph, those in the know say it’ll end this way: “Diplomats…swap dark jokes about being around for the ‘fall of Saigon’ moment, the symbolic end of the Washington-backed regime, as the last US helicopter takes off from the roof of the US embassy.” Here’s a dark-joke preview done up in a pdf; just change the details. What a larf!