. . . let us now paraphrase Arthur Carlson: As God as my witness, I thought fireworks wouldn’t spook the turkeys:

THANKSGIVING: BIRD IS THE WORD (Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman): Anthony Schmidt of Triple-D Farm & Hatchery in the Valley says he’s offering a couple hundred more turkeys for holiday dinners this year – even though 200 of his flock died when state fair fireworks spooked them and they “piled on top of each other.”

Now that the election is over, I really should stop checking the Anchorage Daily News website so often, but it’s too entertaining to give up.