If you tire of US News and World Report’s college rankings, we have a new measure, a Trojan campus Health Report which has, suffice it to say, nothing to do with Hector’s chances of burial. The score was obtained by a variety of predictable measures: free contraception availability, HIV testing, etc. Yale topped this 100-college survey, while Brigham Young and Notre Dame failed every category. Colleges where students have to buy their own contraceptives? How primordial! The most curious factor in ranking was whether these colleges had a newspaper sex column. We know there’s nowhere else they could possibly find such information. Not in George W’s America, of course. Goodness.