Barnes & Noble, ever alert to my scholarly needs, today sent me a back to school reminder of the availability of Spark Notes. In addition to old-fashioned cribs, I can purchase laminated, pre-punched notebook-sized SparkChart (buy 2 get one free!) which include handy item such as “English Grammar,” e.g. “Sentence: a group of words that expresses a complete thought.”

The charts are no doubt useful distillations-even more so if students stumble on the subversive possibility of memorizing them. The study guides, on the other hand, are a depressing reminder of the state of affairs in American education. SparkNotes, for example, offers a “No Fear” series of companions to Shakespeare’s works, with Shakespeare’s texts and “an accessible, plain English translation” on the facing page. Here and there Shakespeare can challenge the modern reader, but an English speaking student who needs a “translation” for As You Like It or Julius Caesar has no business attending college.

Students can also purchase the usual guides to such challenging works as Frankenstein and The Old Man and the Sea. In other words, no matter how simple and clear the text, the publisher recognizes that it is above the heads of a fair number of students. Coming soon: the No Fear Guide to Green Eggs and Ham.