A Whirlwind of Motherly Grace

Most of us can look around and appreciate that much has been given to us. Even in pain and weakness, we can be thankful for family, or talents, or a job, or a roof over our head and food on the table. Perhaps there is an awareness that we have been given life at this time for a purpose, even if that purpose is not entirely clear. But in encounters and exchanges and inspirations, we see windows to understanding.

At the same time, it’s true that many struggle with these things. The glass can be half empty, and the fallen world can seem too broken for any contribution of ours to make a difference. We, too, can feel broken beyond usefulness. People drown in these kinds of feelings.

And that is why the world needs people who can see light, who can clear away the fog with tender love and guidance. I think often of a message Pope Benedict XVI handed me just a few months before he stepped down (quoting Pope Paul VI’s speech at the end of the Second Vatican Council in 1965). Addressed to all the women of the world, it concluded:

Women, you do know how to make truth sweet, tender, and accessible. Make it your task to bring the spirit of this council into institutions, schools, homes, and daily life. Women of the entire universe, whether Christian or non-believing, you to whom life is entrusted at this grave moment in history, it is for you to save the peace of the world.

The peace of the world! And, man!, do we need that. So many people have no idea that this is what the Catholic Church thinks of women.

Last week I spent a few days on the campus of my alma mater, the Catholic University of America, for a leadership conference for 300 young Catholic women from every state in the union. Called GIVEN, it was “a response to Pope Francis’s plea for a deeper understanding and activation of the unique gift of women in the Church and the world.”

One woman from Alabama told me: “This forum could not have come at a better time. In our world, women are under attack. Women are being lied to. They are being told that their feminine gifts are a hindrance and should be suppressed. In our world, fertility, receptivity, empathy, and gentleness are seen as weaknesses.. . . . I now truly understand feminine genius, and I refuse to accept the counterfeit.”

A woman from New Mexico told me: “Women don’t have it very easy in our modern culture. We get caught up in this pressure to control our lives; we are constantly being told we must be strong, independent, and, in many ways, selfish. According to society’s standards we must look out solely for ourselves and put so much of our worth into what we do. Yet, modern woman seems to be incredibly unhappy. This conference contradicts and, in a great way, rebels against this pressure of society. It focuses on the gift that woman is, not what she does. It focuses on embracing who we truly are as women and embracing every gift we have received, including the gift of our fertility. It encourages us as women to be unashamed of who we are; to be fearless and bold with our tender hearts. In a world that is so deprived of love, when tragedies seem to be happening on a daily basis, the world needs the fierce compassion and empathy that comes so naturally to women.”

Another woman told me: “Today, it is important for young women to hear the message of GIVEN: that you have been given gifts, that you have been noticed, and that you have a role that only you can fulfill because of that: each woman has a unique role to fulfill in the Church and in history. It might not be a grand role, but all of us have an impact on a multitude of lives (our friends, families, the grocer). To receive and recognize our gifts and our worth is to help us love others better.”

The grocer! What a way to live: to not be indifferent to anyone before your eyes. What a difference it could make. And quite the counter to a presidential-election season whose choices involve rejecting, on the one hand, the unborn child in the womb or, on the other hand, the unknown stranger who may be fleeing danger, or simply seeking a better life.

A woman from Montana quoted Saint John Paul II to me: “Without the contribution of women, society is less alive, culture impoverished, and peace less stable. Situations where women are prevented from developing their full potential and from offering the wealth of their gifts should therefore be considered profoundly unjust, not only to women themselves but to society as a whole.” She continued: “Our culture is plagued by immense suffering and in need of love, the healing love which women are uniquely able to give. Our culture needs women to return it back to a priority of love.” And she added: “At a time in our culture when femininity is outright denied and rejected, women need to be affirmed in the truth of their very being, the goodness of their femininity — for their own flourishing and that of those around them.”

At a time when everything is called into question, including which restroom one should use, a celebration of the gift of the natural differences between men and women allows for a reality check that may just make things better. We need motherly hearts to tend to wounds, whether it be after terror in Orlando or in the midst of everyday fears and struggles that drive people to isolation, depression, anger, alienation, and violence.

A woman from New York described the GIVEN week as a “whirlwind of love and grace.” Just a breeze from that could do a world of good in all 50 states.