You know, I was just starting to buy the line about Joe Lieberman: about how we should all get behind him because there should one honorable Democratic officeholder. He understands the major issue of our time, blah, blah, blah. I was just about to forget the 2000 presidential campaign: in which he jettisoned all his sensible positions (e.g., Social Security reform); accused the Republicans of trying to rape Alaska; went all racial in the Florida aftermath; etc.

I was just about onboard – until I read Stephen Spruiell yesterday, and learned that Lieberman returned a check from Wal-Mart. Now, why did he do that? Because those stores are full of PRC products? Is Lieberman a China human-rights nut? If only. No, he returned the check for all the usual stupid-Left reasons.

My current position is: Lieberman, Lamont — whatever.

But I may well be onboard by Primary Day. I just have to avoid reading anything about Lieberman unrelated to the war.

‐My Quote of the Day — if I had one — comes from Ehud Olmert. He said, “It’s true that I am a new prime minister, relatively speaking. Though in Israel, every day is like a year in other places.”

Sadly and perfectly true.

‐The question comes anew whether the West has the stomach to fight the War on Terror, and prevail in it. I don’t know — think of all the major personages and institutions that are either against the war or sympathetic to the other side. Three years ago, interviewing Secretary Rumsfeld, I asked this question: whether the West had the stomach. Actually, what I asked was whether Americans would “stick with the Terror War.” Rumsfeld answered, quick as a flash, “They stuck with the Cold War.”

Yes, indeed — but I’ve always felt we got somewhat lucky there, particularly with the advent of Gorbachev. (I know this makes many of my fellow Reaganauts gag.)

And many years ago — when I was in college — I read those stirring Norman Podhoretz essays, in which he spoke of Israel, America, and Europe, and said things like, “Oh, West, look in the mirror and behold your fate.”

I’m afraid these times prompt apocalyptical thoughts.

‐I noticed an article yesterday headed “Immigrants Sue Over Citizenship Delays.” I thought, “They’re Americans already. They certainly have the spirit. Suing! That’s what we do.”

Great. And many immigrants — the MALDEF types — have the racial-grievance thing down pat.

‐I noticed, too, that Charlie Rangel has said he’ll retire if his party — guess which one — fails to take back Congress. I thought, “It would be kind of neat if Rangel and his great friend Castro left power at about the same time.” Of course, maybe Charlie’d like to go down there and fill the gap.

‐Several people have asked me about the “Cuban transition.” I refer them to Mark Falcoff’s book, Cuba: The Morning After. If you have less time, a review by me of that book is here.

‐A reader of mine forwarded me an article from The Capital Times, in Madison, Wis. (here). As the article makes clear, they are really worried in that red, or at least pink, town — worried that Castro will kick off and democratic liberalism will gain a foothold. Won’t that be a horrific day, when Fidel’s prisoners emerge from their cells into the light? They will be gnashing their teeth, in Madison, Berkeley, and, of course, my hometown, Ann Arbor.

‐And wouldn’t you know? While I was surfing the web, looking for a column by Thomas Sowell, I happened upon a picture from Ann Arbor. It showed a panel composed of a CAIR rep, an ACLU rep, James Bamford, and John Dean. They were speaking on “Spying, Secrecy, and Presidential Power.”

I thought, “That’s the Ann Arbor I know! Nice balance. What, they couldn’t fly Howard Zinn in?”

(For a story on the event, go here, to PoliticalAffairs.net, “Marxist Thought Online.”)

‐We sometimes talk about unusual or otherwise arresting names in this column. Yesterday, I happened on Sir Jock Stirrup, chief of Britain’s defense staff.

Sir Jock Stirrup! You’ve got to be kidding me! But no: It’s wonderfully true.

I also found Sharon Rummery, “spokeswoman for the Citizenship and Immigration Service.” Rummery? Isn’t that what critics of the Pentagon chief call our defense policy?

Finally, a reader told me he was driving through Stewart County, Tenn., when “I was shocked by a sheriff candidate’s billboard. Could it be that a man named James Crow was running for sheriff in one of the eleven former Confederate states?”

Yes, sir! And don’t tell me his family and friends don’t call him Jim.

‐The wire services can be pretty cheeky, with their headlines. There was a Reuters story yesterday that began, “Police in Brazil’s remote Amazon state of Rondonia have arrested a man who had 666 rough diamonds stashed in his underpants.” The headline was, “Hey, I found booty — no, the other kind . . .”

Cheeky, indeed.

‐Let’s have a little music criticism, from the New York Sun. For reviews of an orchestra concert in the Mostly Mozart Festival, and a recital by the pianist Marc-André Hamelin, please go here. And would you like a book review, also published in the Sun? For a review of Rodney Bolt’s new biography of Lorenzo Da Ponte, librettist to Mozart and lesser others, please go here.

‐Let’s go back a little. In Monday’s Impromptus, I had an item related to Mel Gibson’s arrest. I told a couple of stories involving people who, when liquored up, had burst out with “f***ing Jew.” I remarked on the amazing combustibility of alcohol and anti-Semitism. And I joked that someone might market a wine, or vodka, or whatever named F***ing Jew.

Later on Monday, I saw an item on Andrew Sullivan’s blog. (Incidentally, I once contributed money to this blog.) Andrew said that I had written an “apology” for Gibson. In fact, mine was the “real beaut” of all apologies. You see, I was part of the “theocon right” (or one of its “fellow-travelers”), leaping to the defense of my “cultural icon,” Gibson.

All of this will no doubt shock my readers as much as it did me.

After Andrew posted, I heard from some of his own readers — and, boy, were they . . . well, not the nicest. Impromptus-ites, you don’t write to anyone that way, do you? At least one of them cc’d Andrew, so proud was he of the spanking he had administered to me.

And if I ever catch you doing that, Impromptus-ites . . .

Anyway, I’m sorry if I was unclear in my Monday column. I may well have written too obliquely, too cutesily (for Andrew, certainly, is the farthest thing from stupid). Truth is, I’m not sure I know anyone who takes a severer view of either drunkenness or anti-Semitism than I do. I’m often teased about it (certainly about the anti-booze part).

Say you’re a 6’4”, 250-lb. black man named Mack. And someone says to you, “Actually, you’re a little Korean girl named Grace.” That’s the way I felt on Monday. You don’t know what to say — you can only sort of blink and stammer.

For years, one of my lines was, “I assume everyone I meet is a drunk, an adulterer, and an anti-Semite, until proven otherwise.” Perhaps my mistake on Monday was that I forgot that others aren’t as cynical as I (thank goodness).

Look: Drunkenness and anti-Semitism are two of the world’s worst constants. To be surprised, or even particularly exercised, by them is a touch naïve. What did you expect Mel Gibson to say, when he was arrested? “Gee, officer, isn’t it amazing how Maimonides holds up in the modern world?” “Gee, officer, don’t you think it’s great how the Israeli people are united in the face of this mortal threat to them?”

Get real, as Mayor Bloomberg likes to say.

A great portion of the world hates Jews and gets drunk, and often the latter reveals the former. And if you don’t know that by now, you probably will, as you continue in your journey.

‐Let’s have, oh, four items from my mailbag. Number 1:

Jay,
Once a woman called me a “f***ing New York Jew.” I am of Italian heritage and grew up in Kansas City. My wife, who is Jewish, told me I’d been promoted.

Number 2:

Dear Jay:
Gibson said that Jews cause all wars. Shouldn’t this make him eligible for the Nobel Peace Prize? Or at least a tenured spot on Columbia University’s Middle Eastern Studies faculty?

And I was calling myself cynical!

Number 3:

Jay,
There was a memorable exchange on South Park:
Cartman: Shut up, you f***ing Jew!
Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word?
Cartman: “Jew”?

And Number 4:

Jay,
My main complaint with respect to being a “f***ing Jew” is that it is not more literally true.

‐Guys, I’ve got loads more, but I think I’d better knock off. Let me leave you with one more letter. You may recall that, in that Monday column, I remarked on the following exchange:

Young Woman: But every time you go out with my friends, you get hammered. Can you just stop doing that?
Young Man: No, I can’t. That’s what I do.

Well, a reader wrote,

Jay,
I was reading one of my favorite authors, Gogol, the other evening. The story is Taras Bulba. A Cossack is drunk and running around shrieking and dancing in revelry. He’s wearing a warm winter sheepskin and sweat is pouring off him. Taras says, “At least take off your sheepskin! You see how hot it is!” The Cossack cries, “I can’t!” “Why not?” asks Taras. “I cannot,” responds the Cossack. “If I fling a thing off, I swap it for drink. That’s my way.”

Classy, ain’t it, ending on Gogol?