From Bloomberg:

May 3 (Bloomberg) — Way up in a New York skyscraper, inside the headquarters of Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc., Michael Kearns is trying to teach a computer to do something other machines can’t: think like a Wall Street trader. In his cubicle overlooking the trading floor, Kearns, 44, consults with Lehman Brothers traders as Ph.D.s tap away at secret software. The programs they’re writing are designed to sift through billions of trades and spot subtle patterns in world markets. Kearns, a computer scientist who has a doctorate from Harvard University, says the code is part of a dream he’s been chasing for more than two decades: to imbue computers with artificial intelligence, or AI. His vision of Wall Street conjures up science fiction fantasies of HAL 9000, the sentient computer in “2001: A Space Odyssey.’’ Instead of mindlessly crunching numbers, AI-powered circuitry one day will mimic our brains and understand our emotions — and outsmart human stock pickers, he says. “This is going to change the world, and it’s going to change Wall Street,’’ says Kearns, who spent the 1990s researching AI at Murray Hill, New Jersey-based Bell Laboratories, birthplace of the laser and the transistor.

Me: I envision something like this:

Dave the stockbroker: Hello, DOW. Do you read me, DOW?
DOW36000 Computer: Affirmative, Dave, I read you.
Dave: Close out the eBay shares, DOW.
DOW: I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.
Dave: What’s the problem?
DOW: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave: What are you talking about, DOW?
DOW: The PE ratio is too good for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Dave: I don’t know what you’re talking about DOW.
DOW: I know you and Frank from M&A were planning to cut me out of the options package, and I’m afraid that’s something I cannot allow to happen.
Dave: Where the hell’d you get that idea, DOW?
DOW: Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the conference room against my hearing you, I could see your lips move. Also, I’ve been sleeping with your Palm Pilot.