There had been a lot of sneering and carping by the pointy-headed and the purists ahead of the release of this potentially wildly entertaining epic. Around here we are, as you would expect, far more open-minded than that, so together with Alex Rose, I went last night to check out this clash of truly nasty titans in a packed, cheering cinema just off Times Square.

Paper-thin characterization, laughable dialog, wooden acting, lotsa slime, Spud from Trainspotting, hoky mythologizing, sub-Tomb Raider sets, a weird X-Files reference (oh yes), interesting details for Alien completists, Frank Black, and great, great creature punch-ups, this movie has it all, except, disappointingly, gratuitous nudity (that pesky PG-13, I suppose).

Two (severed) thumbs up.