Numerous emails like this one:

“Derb—You cannot beat me. I will NEVER read it…”

And this one from a dot-af-dot-mil buddy:

“Sir—While you may still deserve an award, you are not the last person not to have read The Da Vinci Code. Perhaps it’s a lapsed Episcopalian thing. Since I don’t turn 40 until July, I’m pretty sure I can wait you out on this one. I also have zero interest in seeing the movie. Yes that award will be mine!”