Several readers have complained that the unadulterated lameness of the Energy Dept. timewaster was so great that it should reflect poorly on me. They say I should atone by posting something really great. I reject the premises of these complaints. Nevertheless, if it will appease some of you I present you the chicken-vac. [click to watch the video]

I’m a little horrified by this because I actually have qualms about factor farming (please, let’s not start that conversation). Still, if a nation can create the chicken-vac, surely we should have an airborne-laser volcano lancer by now. Faster please.