Three speeds, that is. Re old-fashioned and reliable three-speed bikes, my in box overfloweth. From one reader:

The 2005 Schwinn Cruiser “Three” seems to be the bike you and Derb
are looking for. Three-speed internal hub, no derailleurs, and
classic styling. It’s a bit pricey at $349, but if you’re really
concerned about that, you could always just buy an old ten-speed and
fix it up.

From another:

The modern analogue to a Sturmey Archer 3 spd is the Shimano Nexus

And from yet a third:

My husband, who loves old steel bikes of any number of speeds, says you can buy your three-speed Sturmey Archer on e-Bay or opt for the current version of the internal rear-gear Shimano Nexus internal drive, the most popular brand of which is Landrider. Elektra (which advertises itself as “Bikes for the rest of us”) features the same drive in a very upright posture. In fact, you can place your feet on the ground while seated on the saddle.
Just a for instance…

Market failure? Nonsense. Thank you, readers of this happy Corner, for restoring my faith in capitalism.