I wish to tell one of my favorite stories out of British politics. It is Election Day 1970, and the Conservatives, led by Ted Heath, have pulled off a victory against Labour, led by Harold Wilson. Ken Tynan, sitting at a bar, is despondent. And Kingsley Amis is on a table dancing, saying, “Show the shaggers, show the shaggers! Five more years outside the barbed wire!”

I say, in the same spirit, “Come on, Americans, show the shaggers [or whatever your favorite national equivalent is]! Four more years outside the barbed wire!”

People will no doubt want to smash me for this hyperbole — but call it, if you can, pre-Election Day gusto.