In re: melting beer bottles, a reader offers this:

Next time, John, entertain the proposition that if you throw a bullet into the fire, it’ll explode. Watch the reaction from the ladies. It’s hunting season here in the Mitten State, and these “X-in-the-camp-fire” questions are all hypothesized, tried, and known by the people heading up the I-75 as we speak. Flatus-in-the-fire is another that comes to mind.

There’s yet another solution to the household-smells problem there, if you go looking for it. Which my advice would be, to not.