Exchange with a reader:

He:

“You sir, are a ninny, for not realizing the cost of all the hard work of

democratizing Iraq is worth it for the collective panty-wadding that will

result on the part of the left.

“You sir, are a ninny.

“John, why are you such a ninny? Is there anything we can do?

“Yours in jest—[Name]“

Me:

“Yes. Send me some money. Er, for treatment.”

[“Panty-wadding”? Wot dat?]