As readers of the G-File know, I’ve been dealing with Cosmo’s latest problem: an injured Achille’s tendon. I took him to a specialist earlier this week.

Anyway, I’ve now gone and done something awful to my foot. I was sure it was gout (which runs in my family and fits my lavish lifestyle perfectly). The pain was so awful last night, I barely slept. But the new doctor* I saw on an emergency basis this morning thinks it might be something else, like tendon damage.

The nurse asked me some basic questions, including “Which foot hurts.”

And that’s where the Cosmo-on-the-brain thing kicked in.

I immediately responded, “Oh it’s the back right one.”

The nurse looked up from her clipboard, quizzically, back right?

“Oh, sorry, I’ve been talking to vets a lot lately.”

*Oh, since my old doc retired, I made an emergency appointment with a new doctor. She seemed fine, but if there are any brilliant rightwing doctors in the DC area looking for a patient, let me know.