Definition

re: Cliff May’s question, “What is branch water?”

branch water

n : pure natural water from a stream or brook; often distinguished from

soda water

Source: WordNet ® 2.0, © 2003 Princeton

but the truth is, as any southern-raised honest, decent American will

tell you, branch water is the water you put into a nice tumbler of

bourbon, to make bourbon-and-branch. My preference is to make ice

cubes out of spring water, for a bourbon-rocks, which slowly drifts

into bourbon-and-branch as you sip it. And the perfect intermediate

stage is bourbon-and-melt, which is when you look down at your melty

drink and think, “maybe just a splash more, just until the Ohio numbers

come in.” And then, later, “Are the polls closing in New Mexico?

Maybe just a splash — just to wake up the melt, I’m serious.”

More than you wanted to know? Perhaps. But aren’t you thirsty?