First of all, having spent all this morning judging at the state 4-H finals, I feel compelled to observe that in the practical-value-to-humans category, no domesticated animal can beat the cow. But in the interest of robust debate, I’ll stand by my cats-over-dogs position. Being barked at by various members of the Goldberg household is a small price to pay for being right.

As to the specific points Jonah makes:

1. Intentionality. Sure, dogs may intend more help to humans than cats do. So what? Since when does our team judge actions on the basis of intentions rather than results? That’s just the wrong breed of argument for this discussion.

2. The Dogs of War. Yes, dogs can be trained to help human beings hunt and battle. A good friend of mine used to train K-9s. But, correct me if I’m wrong, no major battle in the history of human warfare has credibly been credited to the efforts of the canine corps. Whereas, I know of at last one major medieval campaign — Genghis Khan’s invasion of the Tangut state of Xi Xia, a major power in western China and Tibet — that was won in large part due to the use of cats. Realizing that his army wasn’t yet prepared to mount effective siegecraft (that would come later with the use of Chinese auxiliaries) the Great Khan took the pivotal fortress of Volohai by convincing its commander that he would withdraw in exchange for a gift of 1,000 cats and 10,000 swallows. The puzzled commander complied, at which point the Mongols tied tufts of cotton wool and twigs to the animals’ tails and set them ablaze. The terrified cats and birds reentered the city and started lots of fires, paving the way for the fort, and later the Tangut state, to fall. Intentional assistance from the critters? No. Effective? Yep.

3. The Rodent Question. Dogs will certainly eat rodents. But cats require no training or urging to do so, and are responsible for far more rat removal historically than dogs are. Just because something can be done doesn’t mean it will be, or is the most economical use of resources.

Finally, a sampling of some of my favorite reader mail on the catfight so far:

I’m perfectly willing to acknowledge the importance, yea even greater-than-dogs importance, of cats in the history of human civilization. I’d just rather live with a dog. Nobody else goes into paroxysms of joy when I get back from the grocery store.

But then there’s:

Cats are rugged individualists. Dogs are parasitic communists.

And the soon-to-be-immortal:

If we’re going to pursue this line of thinking, domesticated fungi trump them all, as yeast gives us bread and, more importantly, beer.