The Daily Telegraph’s Berlin correspondent reports on an approaching crisis:

“I was further distressed to read on my flight to Milan this afternoon that the makers of Marmite are planning to put it into squeezy tubes, abandoning the traditional thick brown glass jars it has been stored in for as long as I can remember. The manufacturers say in their defence that the tubes are all about “versatility” and getting rid of the ‘crumbs-in-the-jar’ scenario which has apparently been upsetting consumers for years. But anyone who is familiar with Marmite – a very salty yeast extract of a thick consistency, which British children typically eat on thin strips of bread known as ’soldiers’ – will know that it can’t possibly be squeezed out of a tube. Not unless the makers change its consistency. And sure enough, that is the plan. It’s to be thinned down! “

Read the comments section for an understanding of what this could mean, but note claims (reported on, yup, a Marmite fan site www.ilovemarmite.com) that “Squeeze Me” Marmite may merely a complement to the existing product range. We’ll see, but these reports of what destructive capitalist change could mean to a beloved foodstuff are enough to turn me, well, crunchy…

Next they will be fooling with Egg McMuffins.