In a decent, civilized, society this man would be disemboweled on national television for such thought crimes:

You rube. You hick. You maroon! Let me let you in on a little secret. You stating unequivocally that cashews are the best nut to accompany adult beverages is a little like the college freshman pontificating to his Budweiser drinking high school friends that Corona is what knowledgeable people drink (not realizing that Samuel Smith’s Oatmeal Stout is the finest beer available in the States).
Sure, cashews are better than peanuts and almonds, but did you ever hear of Filbert nuts? Or maybe you know them by the alias Hazel nuts. As President of the Foundation for Increased Filbert Awareness (“FIFA”), I can assure you that Filberts are far, far superior to cashews. FIFA has conducted numerous scientific alcohol/food consumption tests which have proved conclusively that Filberts are the greatest accompaniment to adult beverages out there.
Live. Eat. Drink. Learn.