I’m sorry, but the Fox News Channel has lost its mind. A dog has gotten stuck on an ice floe in a river in New Jersey. Authorities are trying to figure out how to rescue it. Fox has a helicopter over the scene, and they’re treating this like it’s the freakin’ roof of the U.S. Embassy during the evacuation of Saigon. It’s a pitiful sight, to be sure, and we all have to hope that the dog is rescued. But come on!

(OK, flame shields up, and anticipating incoming from Cosmo’s companion.)