Now that we have all seen the group photo

of Dick Gephardt with his

lesbian daughter, I imagine there is a bit of a panic among the other

Democratic presidential candidates to come up with a gay relative of their

own. Having a gay relative, in fact, will now be de rigeur–or gay rigeur,

if you like–for any Dem running for president. At the risk of trespassing

on Rob Long’s territory, one can imagine the sort of conversations that have

been going on.

[The Lieberman household, over breakfast]

Joe: Hadassah, do I remember you once telling me you had a gay nephew?

Hadassah: What? Oh, little Howie. Well, we were never certain. But yes,

everybody in the family thought he was a feygeleh. A good boy, though,

always a good boy to his Momma. Such pretty tchotchkes he used to make for

her!

Joe: Do we have a phone number for him?

Hadassah: Howie? Oh, after he graduated from fashion school he went off to

live in Israel.

Joe: Any chance we could get him back over here? Just for a few months, I

mean…..

[Al Sharpton on the phone]

Al: Yo? Aunt Eustacia?

Eustacia: Alfred? Why, what a surprise! I haven’t heard from you for just

the longest time! How are Kathy and those two lovely girls?

Al: We’re all fine, Aunt Eustacia, just fine. I just wanted to ax you

about cousin George.

Eustacia: Cousin George? Oh, my, Alfred, you know we don’t like to talk

about HIM. Not after that incident with Pastor Harris…

Al: Yeah, well, that was nearly ten years ago, Aunt Eustacia. The thing I

was wondering is, whether we could get cousin George to join my presidential

campaign.

Eustacia: Cousin George? Why, Alfred, have you taken leave of your senses?

Do you KNOW what kind of ungodly life cousin George is leading?

Al: I know, I know, Aunt Eustacia, but these are modern times, you see….