Now that it’s so close, I’ve started my training regimen. Just last night I ate 15 of those pickled eggs I always see at biker bars. Then I read Whittacker Chambers’ Witness aloud while doing a shot of bourbon everytime I encountered a dualistic metaphor — light versus dark, good versus evil, etc. Tonight I’m going to learn how to ask Why Does Bologna Reject the Grinder? in latin and look for gnostic falacies in Battlestar Galactica.