A distinguished Scottish journalist writes in to defend the nightmare cholula and haggis combo, sipping, no doubt, a whisky and coke as he does so:

“While adding hot sauce to the great chieftain of the pudden race may be unorthodox, it is not a crazy notion. Indeed, good haggis has a peppery spiciness that could be pleasantly enhanced by a dash of hot sauce.”

Then things turn ugly (“Haggis is splendidly versatile. I have in the past made haggis

ravioli and served it to general approval”) and defensive (“It’s odd that andouille sausages, sweetbreads and other less than immediately appealling treats should be afforded great respect, while the poor old haggis is treated as a macabre joke”) and culminate, naturally, with old Mr. Burns (no, Jonah, not that one):

“Is there that owre his French ragout/Or olio that wad staw a sow?Or fricassee wad mak her spew/Wi perfect sconner/Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view/On sic a dinner?

“..Ye Pow’rs, wha mak mankind your care/And dish them out their bill o fare/Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware/That jaups in luggies/But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer/Gie her a Haggis!”

There’s nothing I could possibly add to that – not even cholula sauce.