From a reader (who stacks his words vertically for extra effect):

I
Cannot
Believe
You
Wrote
This
Jonah!
My admiration for your courage, already high, just went way up. I think
you should ask Derb why in the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks the Brits have
separate hot and cold faucets in their public restrooms. What do they
expect, a guy to plug up the drain, fill the basin, and have a little
splash-up where everyone else’s geebers have gone before? Then, to top it
off, they have the mixer faucets in the bathtubs: the one place where you
don’t effing *need* it.