Note: An apology: Earlier today, when I posted this, in my desire to highlight the good work of Courage and my experiences with Legatus, I unintentionally conflated a few things. The speakers who dropped out did so because of a continuing controversy about this article which ran in Legatus’ magazine in 2011.

The confusion over what Courage is — surrounding the conference but not why the aforementioned invited speakers stepped aside– is what I wanted to address this morning. My deepest apologies — to all readers, and Gary Sinese, Bret Baier, and Paul Darrow especially, who all do good and important work in the world – for adding to the problem. — KJL

A controversy broke out regarding a Catholic conference this month where one really didn’t need to. Gary Sinise dropped out as a speaker. So did Bret Baier.

Both were scheduled to speak to the Legatus conference this weekend in Florida. It’s an annual gathering of Catholic professionals, many in business. I’ve spoken at a number of Legatus chapters across the U.S. through the years, most recently in Baltimore and upcoming in Michigan. I’ve always been impressed with the depth of faith and desire to live it through daily life. It tends to be an encounter with what the likes of the evangelical Green family of Hobby Lobby and the Hahn family of Conestoga Woods re-introduced to us through the federal case they had to fight: the non-privatization of faith, living whole lives of faith integrated in family and work. (Not privatizing faith, as it happens, is what Pope Francis talked about in his morning homily Thursday.)

I’m fond of both Sinise and Baier and their work. And I understand. They’ve both got a mission and the controversy regarding the conference – which I suspect they knew little about – was not something they wanted to be entangled in. But this is and will increasingly happen. In fact, it’s the second year in a row something like this has happened to the Legatus conference. Last year, Bob Newhart dropped out after a similar bullying campaign. (I wrote about it here.)

The controversy, this year, such that it is, was over a single speaker, Paul Darrow.

Darrow is one of the subjects of a documentary, The Joy of the Everlasting Hills, put out by Courage, a Catholic ministry for people (and their families) with same-sex attraction. It’s an honest – courageous, as it happens — testimony of three people who lived gay lifestyles and decided to live differently. Courage is Catholic and each has a different story about how they were brought into the Church, accepting Church teaching about human sexuality as the right path for them. They don’t pretend their lives are perfect and they didn’t, as the caricature has it, “pray the gay away.” They felt the tug of God in their lives leading them to something more everlasting than what they had previously known. They experienced a conversion of heart and mind: This is not conversion therapy, as it has been mischaracterized throughout the Internet and the power behind bullying campaigns — but a religious conversion, an encounter with Christ. It’s a conversion not packaged to eradicate same-sex attraction or same-sex marriage but one offered, as they testify too, by God made man who died to overcome sin and death.

In Desire of the Everlasting Hills, Darrow talks about how he went from living a high-risk promiscuous, gay life; formerly an international model, most of his close friends died of AIDS in the Eighties. He truly believes his life was spared to quit being selfish – in the documentary he talks about his self-centered life before his pull to the sacramental life in the Catholic Church – and live chastely, speaking the truth he came to with love, and I’ll add, courage.

Darrow is a compelling speaker and I’m grateful I got to spend some time with him this summer at the premiere of Desire of the Everlasting Hills. He speaks this weekend at the Legatus Conference, which has replaced the speakers who dropped out. I talked to him about the controversy; you can hear a bit from him here. And I encourage you to watch Desire of the Everlasting Hills, which is available free online. It’s about same-sex attraction, yes, but it is about much more. It’s about love and freedom, courage and sacrifice. It’s real. It’s a step in recovering a common vocabulary and even experience.

Q: What do you make of people thinking Courage and you are about “conversion therapy”?

A: Saying that Courage is about conversion therapy is like saying that the pro-life ministries are about a “war on women.” There is no war on women in the pro-life movement and there is no conversion therapy in the Courage apostolate. These are both just erroneous catch phrases tossed out by detractors.

It takes very little research to figure out that Courage and I are not about conversion therapy. For example, Courage is in some states where conversion therapy is illegal. This would not be the case if Courage were about conversion therapy. Courage provides spiritual support to those with same-sex attraction who desire to live a chaste life, but it is not an orientation change group.

Unfortunately, there are people living the homosexual lifestyle who feel threatened by the very idea of Courage. They propagate half-truths and false information about the apostolate. I’m familiar with their agenda and I understand their feelings, because it wasn’t so long ago that I was one of them. Prior to my conversion, I had anger and hate in my heart for those who turned away from homosexuality, because I felt that they were threatening to the way I wanted to live. I’m sorry that I used to feel that way, and I feel sorry for those who are threatened by the truth.

We all deserve to know the truth . . . and must defend it once we’ve found it . . .

Q: What is the conversion you speak of and live?

A: Prior to my conversion, I vacillated between being an agnostic and an atheist. I was happy with who I was and I enjoyed my self-indulgent life. My world centered around the seductive and promiscuous homosexual lifestyle. I had no desire to change anything in my life, but as Providence would have it, almost everything in my life did change. It reminds me of that insightful saying, “God loves you and there’s not a thing that you can do about it.” In a nutshell, I became a devout Catholic and shortly afterwards, I became chaste. Because of my conversion, I have received a joy, a fulfillment, and a freedom that I never knew existed. I now feel that I have an obligation to share this good news with others.

Q: What’s some of the feedback you’ve been getting about Desire of the Everlasting Hills?

A: It’s been incredible. I’ve come across about a hundred film reviews and blogger comments, and surprisingly, they are all very positive.I never expected the film’s message to be so well received by young adults and by those who have no connection to the alternative lifestyle. I’m so thankful for all of the positive feedback I’ve received from men and woman who want to move beyond their homosexual identity. But when complete strangers, hug me and tell me, with tear-filled eyes, that they are now going to treat their spouse a whole lot better simply because of what they saw in the movie, my heart skips a beat and I realize just how much this film exemplifies the real meaning of love.

Q: What will you be telling the Legatus crowd you’re speaking to this weekend?

A: Against all odds, I’ll be speaking about courage, grace, and truth.

Q: What’s your hope for the upcoming papal visit to the United States this fall? Is your witness and message connected with the focus on families we heard from the pope in the Philippines today and will continue to with the upcoming world meeting of families and synod in Rome?

A: My hope is that Pope Francis’s message in the United States will be similar to the message he gave in the Philippines about the importance of families. What he said in Manila was superbly in line with the words of Saint Pope John Paul II. When the former pope was speaking about families, he said that among man’s many paths, the family is the first and the foremost.

I was especially pleased to hear Pope Francis warning his audience about the efforts of some to redefine the institution of marriage. My respect and appreciation for families is now greater than it ever was. From my alternative lifestyle experiences and from what I‘ve learned from the teachings of the Church, it’s crystal clear to me just how vital it is to protect the traditional family model. I believe that families can help all of us to achieve a more complete identity.