“Starving for Mass”…The story of one-atom-thick magnesium’s struggle to stay one-atom thick in the catty hothouse atmosphere of a Beverly Hills High School.

“Where’s one-atom-thick Magnesium?” asks super-popular one-atom-thick Zinc.

“Where else? She’s in the bathroom throwing up protons,” replies sassy one-atom-thick Carbon, with a snap. “The prom is coming and one-atom-thick Cobalt hasn’t asked her yet.”

“That bitch. One atom-thick Cobalt is mine.”

And…scene.