Embedded video

The great punk theorist Legs McNeil has a story about the first appearance of the Ramones at CBGB that he tells very well. He starts with a rant deploring the sappy, mellow, earth-toned grooviness of the early 1970s โ€” a time when longhaired, denim-and-suede guitar strummers soared on both Wings and Eagles, when take-it-easy rockers rode into towns on horses with no name. McNeil limns it all with such disgust and quasi-reactionary brio that youโ€™d be ashamed not to share his horror of the hippies and their laid-back indiscipline. Then comes the night when the Ramones show up, which McNeil depicts as a hard-edged, no-nonsense, leatherbound deliverance from years of shaggy excess. In describing how mind-blowingly cool the punk pioneers appeared to be, McNeil talks about their black boots and jackets, their lankiness and height, their all-black fashion; and at last he reaches for a phrase that can capture the awesomeness of it all: โ€œIt looked like the SS had just walked in,โ€ McNeil says, with obvious awe and admiration.

Iโ€™ve always figured people who really get into the Nazis are following a similar appeal. Sure, you want to uphold the purity of Aryan blood, but most of all, you want to look sharp, fit, militaristic; you want to wear fantastic uniforms and look like this guy:

No more! Apparently even Nazis have given up on fantastic Hugo Boss uniforms. Maybe itโ€™s the recession. From Rolling Stoneโ€™s Thomas Rogers:

Over the past year, partly because of leaders like [Internet TV Nazi hipster host Patrick] Schroeder and partly because of the unstoppable globalization of youth culture, the hipsterification of the German neo-Nazi scene has begun to gain steam. This winter, the German media came up with a new term, โ€œnipster,โ€ to describe the trend of people dressing like Brooklyn hipsters at Nazi events. Experts have noted that the German neo-Nazi presence on Tumblr and other social networking sites has become sleeker and more sophisticated. Neo-Nazi clothing has become more stylish and difficult to recognize. Thereโ€™s even a vegan Nazi cooking show. โ€œIf the definition of the nipster is someone who can live in the mainstream,โ€ Schroeder explains, โ€œthen I see it as the future of the movement.โ€

Thereโ€™s hope that this time the majority of peace-loving Germans are standing up against Nazi hipsters:

In 2012, the daily Welt heralded the โ€œhipsterโ€ as Germanyโ€™s โ€œnew object of hateโ€ and just this February, the countryโ€™s biggest tabloid, Bild, offered a guide to โ€œhipster typesโ€ for its readers.

For the record, I donโ€™t recommend hatred of hipsters, or hatred of any other group, even for Americans. I doubly donโ€™t recommend it for folks from the land of Bach and Goethe. Rogers ventures that the rise of the German hipster presents โ€œboth an opportunity and a dilemma,โ€ and one Junge Nationaldemokraten flack specifies, โ€œI mean nationalist hipster, not Nazi hipster.โ€

In the full-spectrum blast of planetary brotherhood that is Federation International de Football Associationโ€™s World Cup, canโ€™t we cut the krauts a little slack? Itโ€™s a sign of progress that National Socialists are so deplored, that the swamp of racial-purist pseudoscience in which they spawned is so dry, that Hitlerites now have to dress in the cast-off rags of Americans who themselves bought the original rags in quaint secondhand stores. The Rolling Stone piece acknowledges this after its first few million words, bringing in a Tim to help disambiguate:

โ€œItโ€™s noticeable,โ€ Tim says, over the phone, and explains that everything that emerges in German mainstream culture ends up in the [neo-Nazi] scene, just with a delay. โ€œWe donโ€™t walk around the city center with our eyes closed,โ€ he says, โ€œwe see what people are wearing on TV.โ€ He also agrees that the Nazi Tumblr style has gotten โ€œmore youthfulโ€ and โ€œlooser.โ€

โ€œHeil Hipsterโ€ is the title. My recollection of interwar history is that the German political class believed it was safer to have Hitler inside the tent, and you see how that turned out; so the โ€œnipsterโ€ is not a species to be underestimated. But since every nation is now condemned to endlessly beginning National Conversations, it might not be a bad thing for Germans โ€” who before they were the disposable cogs of Bismarck and Wilhelm II and Hitler were the envy of Europe because they were business-oriented โ€” to unpack the Nazi portmanteau and take a fresh look at the part that says โ€œsocialist.โ€

And the rest of you need to stop hating hipsters. Imagine how barren a world without hipsters would be. Iโ€™ll imagine it for you: If it werenโ€™t for hipsters, youโ€™d still be wearing a tie as short as the one the guyโ€™s wearing in the poster two images up.