Jane magazine (no, NOT Jane’s Defense Weekly, its near twin) has a cover piece on Christina Aguilera in its September issue.

Moments of my life spent reading that article will never be recovered. It reads, in part:

Next up is a room filled with large, floating, silver, rectangular balloons. We bat them around, then move along past plywood replicas of Heinz ketchup grocery cartons. “What do you think of Teresa Heinz Kerry?” I ask about the heiress, feminist and (cross your fingers) next first lady, who not only has been all over countless newspapers, but used to be married to Senator John Heinz III until he died in a plane crash in 1991.
“I’m sorry?”
“John Kerry’s wife. I think she’s also from Pittsburgh.”
“Is she?”
“Yeah, she’s supposed to be pretty cool.”
“I feel like if you’re not in sports, you’re kind of invisible in Pittsburgh,” she answers. “I didn’t even know this museum was here before. And this is Andy Warhol.”
“What woman to you think would make a good president?”
“Interesting question…. Well, I’ll run,” she says, laughing.

I know what you’re asking about now: Why do I care how stupid Christina Aguilera is? Here’s why: “Christina, 23, is in town to shoot an MTV Choose or Lose special about sexual politics—she’s going to interview youngsters about reproductive rights, sex education and domestic violence.” Oh, the joys of youth politics. Miss Aguilera is urging college students to vote. Personally, I’m all for encouraging her not to vote, along with many other Jane readers, I’m sure.

But Jonah’s been on this beat for like, ever.

And, then, of course, there is the Myrna Blyth “Spin Sisters” point: Reporter Esther Haynes writes: “I ask about the heiress, feminist and (cross your fingers) next first lady.” Well, of course; all us chicks are all about the good hair and Two Americas of the Kerry-Edwards team.