Here’s a fun email:

Jonah,
Librarians for years have been trying to “sex-up” their image, unfortunately, not in the way I would prefer it. Over the years, they have been very successful in increasing their budgets as they have proven their usefulness, especially in academic centers. Unfortunately, their usefulness, in my opinion, is coming to a close as nearly all journals are now on-line and so librarians are going to be left competing with major book retailers for customers still interested in books on dead tree. As a result, they need a new advocate (scientists won’t need them much longer), and as with all industries facing obsolescence, the best place to turn to is the one segment of society that is the best at resisting change: liberals. So I see this as a ploy to endear librarians to the vocal left to gain allies for future battles. But who knows? Maybe they actually believe this crap.
What I haven’t seen pointed out is that after the next terrorist attack in this country, I’m sure that plaintiffs’ attorneys will be very interested in whether or not a specific librarian interfered in Patriot Act investigations that could have prevented such an attack. And I’m sure that those librarians will scream bloody murder when they get sued for a gazillion dollars since, after all, anyone who is standing up for a principle should be able to do so consequence free. Of course, I also haven’t seen pointed out that they would gladly roll over if the police wanted to come look through the library records of a suspected spouse abuser. None of them want to look like the heavy on a Lifetime movie of the week. (So, Ma’am, let me get this straight. You thought that when this guy checked out Wife-Beaters and the Women Who Love Them and How They Got Rid of Those Women, he was just being provocative? How droll. Do you realize he ended up murdering his wife?!?! [Close-up of librarian, sobbing] My God! How can I ever live with myself! I thought I was protecting the Constitution! [Pan back to detective] No, ma’am. The Constitution is a dead piece of paper. It’s his wife who was a living, breathing thing.)
So my opinion is: Librarians think they’re doing me and my children a favor? I’ll remember whose side they were on the next time a bond issue comes up. Thank God for local control of library funding.
[Name withheld]