Taking a break from questioning John McCain’s POW memories, Andrew Sullivan pretends to be interested in a dialogue with me about same-sex marriage. This from a man who says that the millions of Americans who support a constitutional amendment protecting marriage just want to “punish” gays. That’s what he has learned from years of debating this issue.

So I’m not writing this in the expectation that I will change his mind or even get him to stop twisting my words.

In his latest post, Sullivan urges me to come clean and admit that opposing gay marriage “necessitates marginalization and second class citizenship.” He writes of marriage: “We are not redefining it. We are making it available for the tiny minority of human beings and citizens who otherwise have no secure legal or social protection for their relationships.”

As long as you say so.

Sullivan asks if I support civil unions. Depends on what you mean. There is a vast range of caring, committed, and loving relationships outside of marriage. If the question is, do I want to isolate the homosexual relationships among them and have the government recognize them, my answer is no. If any two people, whatever their relationship, want to make contractual arrangements regarding their assets, for example, they should be able to do so — and contrary to what Sullivan says, I have never suggested otherwise.

I don’t want gay people to “disappear,” Andrew. I want you to be happy but I don’t think we should have to rewrite marriage law to make that possible.