An email:

Fine. I’ll try to conjure up a third group to be offended by your cover:
– You are depicting a man as a priest. Seems awfully sexist.
– He is holding a long, elongated pen. Seems awfully phallic, especially amid all those microphones.
– The pen seems to be fashioned from the feather of a bird. Has PETA seen the cover?
– The windows are derivative of a Roman Catholic shape, but the arch that contains them is Gothic. Seems awfully insensitive to the Romans (or I suppose it’s a nod to diversity).
– Schumer is senator of a blue state. Why is he wearing red? Does NR suggest that he’s a Red? (Related: Why are O’Sullivan’s and Ponnuru’s names in blue?)
If you can’t dig something out of that, it’s your own fault.