In the event of a Democratic victory, the Obama family back in Kenya will be marking the occasion by sacrificing and eating a large-testicled goat called John*:

John was spotted at the side of the road by my driver George, who was impressed by the size of its belly and, well, other attributes…
“This is a fine animal,” said Abongo Malik Obama, at the lush family homestead in the far west of Kenya, surrounded by grazing cattle and fields thick with maize. “You are certainly welcome now to stay and sit around the fire tonight.” By then John will be nyama choma – the Swahili term for grilled meat.

Any minute now, John Edwards will be along to deliver some maudlin Two Americas sob story about the goatless girl.

This wouldn’t be happening in Saudi.

(*In the event of a McCain victory, we’ll be doing the same to Christopher Buckley.)

(via Scaramouche)