Derb: Geez o’Pete, are you trying to make us all jump off buildings? Conservatives are known for their pessimism, but Russell Kirk once said that there’s no such thing as a lost cause because there’s no such thing as a won cause. Now that’s a deeply conservative sentiment.

Conservative causes that are not dead, many of them anti-socialist: Social Security reform (I know, I know: not soon, but sometime, as the investor class grows); medical savings accounts; lowering taxes, starting with making the Bush tax cuts permanent and keeping the Internet tax-free; tax simplification; school choice through vouchers or tax credits; trade liberalization; ending farm subsidies; paycheck protection (California can smack unions on this one next month); preserving traditional marriage; improving the courts (stop Miers!); strong national defense, including missile defense; immigration reform (I differ with some conservatives here, but there are many possibilities for change); reducing abortions, both through law and through changing hearts and minds; making sure Hillary isn’t elected president in three years.