An animal rights group in Austria went to court to have a chimp declared a person:

A chimpanzee cannot be declared a person, Austria’s Supreme Court has ruled, activists said Tuesday.
An animal rights group had sought to have the chimp, Matthew Hiasl Pan, declared a person in hopes of gaining guardianship of the animal.
The shelter where Matthew has lived for 25 years is going bankrupt, threatening to leave him homeless. Donors have offered to help support him, but under Austrian law, only a person can receive personal gifts.

He’s lived in a shelter for 25 years? Why doesn’t he get a job?

The reader who sent me this item indulged himself in a moderate rant. In part:

Derb — … First off, why did a judge let this nonsense go to court? Oh, yeah, because they’re Europeans … where the children of the nanny state run to the mommy that is the legal industry to tattle and/or ask for special favors. OK, so why is it illegal to give donations to a charity? Well, if people could be trusted to handle their own affairs we wouldn’t need the nanny state, would we? So why didn’t the plaintiffs go to the legislature and have them change the law concerning donations to charity? Well, that would mean they were adults who could be responsible for their own actions, and we all know that’s not possible in the nanny state.
And why do these people want to help a chimp anyway? Chimps, like all animals in the ape family, are vicious animals when they grow up — especially towards humans. They see us as competing predators and try to kill us. Only the cute baby chimps are manageable enough for comic relief on TV. Of course, if you are a ward of the nanny state you probably sympathize with the chimp because you’ve been conditioned to believe you’re not much more than a dumb animal anyway.
On the plus side, once the Muslims take over Europe, charitable giving to apes and monkeys will be allowed again. Charitable giving to Jews will be outlawed, however.

Now, now, Sir. I’m sure that in the future Sharia-law Europe, chimps will have to pay the jizya tax just like all other nonbelievers.