I don’t actually care if DC joins Maryland or not. I think it’s fine like it is, though I wouldn’t mind giving it back to the Feds outright either. I just think retrocession is the obviously preferable choice to statehood. The most preferable choice is to give it to…me. I would rule fairly, but strictly. Dogs would be welcome everywhere — so long as owners were held accountable for their dogs actions. Taxes would be slashed. The death penalty would be back inside of a week. Schools would be voucherized. Fig Newtons would rain from the sky!