I’m writing this while sitting in a plane, which is sitting on the tarmac at whatever they call the airport here in Toronto.

Getting from Washington to Toronto yesterday was painless – no more difficult or time-consuming than getting from Washington to New York. But getting back into the U.S. this morning – or what remains of this morning–has been a nightmare.

I waited on what I believe to have been the longest line I’ve ever waited on in my not-young life. More than two hours of standing and shuffling along. I would not voluntarily wait that long to see Michael Moore get his butt kicked by Arianna Huffington. (I would, however, pay good money for a front-row seat to such entertainment.)

I was told that the holdup was the fault of U.S. Customs and Immigration (through which they process you in Canada, rather than when you get back on U.S. soil). Evidently, they had too few immigrations officers on duty today. Nearly every flight, including the one I’m on, has been delayed. Hundreds of work hours have been lost.

Clearly, the bureaucracy is not up to the task of processing even routine travelers from an industrialized neighboring nation. If this says anything about the efficiency of the new Department of Homeland Security, be worried, be very worried.

If this says anything about the nature of bureaucracies – including American bureaucracies – let’s keep up the drumbeat against a national health care system. (I guess I should take solace from the fact that I haven’t been waiting for an appendectomy.)

OK, new subject: The flight attendant has just handed me a couple of newspapers. The front page of the National Post has a story about Fairuz Yamulky of Calgary, a 38-year-old mother of two who was working for a company that does supply work for the US military in Iraq.

She was among those abducted at gunpoint on September 7. Her captors said they would behead her unless the US paid ransom and agreed to free female Iraqi prisoners.

But Fairuz – an Iraqi Kurd who moved to Canada 11 years ago, then moved back to help with Iraq’s reconstruction effort – got away by convincing one of her captors that she would help him emigrate to Canada, where he could start a new life.

One wonders what this terrorist was hoping to do with himself in a Land of Unbelievers, part of the Dar al Harb, the World of War. Perhaps he might have decided to re-settle in the US and apply for employment with US Immigrations and Customs? He would not, in that capacity, get to abduct anyone, but he could make hundreds of people stand in line for hours, a close cousin.

I wish I could email this from the plane here on the tarmac but I can’t do that because my Verizon wireless isn’t working in Toronto. I’ll send this off as soon as I land in Washington, assuming that does eventually happen.

Yes, I’m very grumpy. I haven’t had coffee or breakfast. You don’t want to mess with me.

By the way, thanks K-Lo, for linking to my grumpy Scripps Howard column earlier.