I thought readers would like to know that all day long I’ve been using public restrooms — at rest stops and gas stations no less (just ask Jim “stall for two, please” McGreevey if you don’t catch my drift) and I’ve employed the widest stance practical. I’m 6′3′’ and so far not even a nibble. Sure, some of my more harsh detractors might say that I’m not that big a catch in the eyes of the closeted bathroom lurking gay community (“Oh you’re a big catch” — The Couch). But let me tell you something, from the ankles down — the only relevant anatomy in this context – I am caliente!

At a Chevron just outside Reno, I even toe-tapped out a few bars from La Cage while I waited for my man-bait kicks to ensnare their prey. But I got nada.