On Sunday, my old pal Sebastian Faulks was telling readers of Britain’s Sunday Times that the Koran was the “barren” “one-dimensional” “rantings of a schizophrenic”.

Now it’s Wednesday and he’s telling readers of the Daily Telegraph something rather different.

By the way, one thing I miss in America’s dying monodailies is Fleet Street headlines. A tip of the hat to the droll Telegraph sub-editor who titled Sebastian’s revised appreciation for the Koran, “The Book I Really Can’t Put Down.”

It’s really the book no one can put down, isn’t it? Given the rapid and remorseless shriveling of freedom of speech that the intersection of Islamic assertiveness and multiculti squeamishness is inflicting on the west, we’re all going to have to learn to speak in that kind of artful code. At any rate, until that’s also banned.