Actually Jonah, according to hip new paleoanthropological data, we’re almost certainly all from Africa. Maybe everyone should go back there. Then we’d all be starting from our ancestral homeland and we’d be able to fight it out for global domination fair and square — like a giant game of Risk.

UPDATE: From a reader:

Maybe we should ALL go back to Africa, and duke it out for global domination? Sure enough! The World Cup competition starts in a few days, in South Africa. EVERYONE will be there. That is, everyone who matters, competing in the only sport that matters.