From a reader:

We own a small family funeral home in a small town in the midwest. Death rates are way down the past 2 years nationally, and this year has been the slowest most of us in this business have seen. Nobody in Congress has suggested a death subsidy program to help us in this industry in our down years. We’re just going to have to get better lobbyists, I guess.

Update: Another reader comments:

The funeral home emailer should be able to get a farm subsidy even though the things he plants do not grow!

Even better, he should get a subsidy because they don’t grow.