A kind reader has sent me the text given to people auditioning as announcers

on the classical radio station WFMT:

The WFMT announcer’s lot is not a happy one. In addition to uttering the

sibilant, mellifluous cadences of such cacophonous sounds as Hans

Schmidt-Isserstedt, Carl Schuricht, Nicanor Zabaleta, Hans Knappertsbusch

and the Hammerklavier Sonata, he must thread his vocal way through the

complications of L’Orchestre de la Suisse Romande, the Concertgebouw

Orchestra of Amsterdam, the Leipzig Gewandhaus Orchestra and other

complicated nomenclature.

However, it must by no means be assumed that the ability to pronounce

L’Orchestre de la Societé des Concerts du Conservatoire de Paris with

fluidity and verve outweighs an ease, naturalness and friendliness of

delivery when at the omnipresent microphone. For example, when delivering a

diatribe concerning Claudia Muzio, Beniamino Gigli, Hetty Plumacher,

Giacinto Prandelli, Hilde Rössel-Majdan and Lina Pagliughi, five out of six

is good enough if the sixth one is mispronounced plausibly. Jessica

Dragonette and Margaret Truman are taken for granted.

Poets, although not such a constant annoyance as polysyllabically named

singers, creep in now and then. Of course Dylan Thomas and W.B. Yeats are no

great worry. Composers occur almost incessantly, and they range all the way

from Albeniz, Alfven and Auric through Wolf-Ferrari and Zeisl.

Let us reiterate that a warm, simple tone of voice is desirable, even when

introducing the Bach Cantata “Ich hatte viel Bekümmernis,” or Monteverdi’s

opera “L’Incoronazione di Poppea.”

Such then, is the warp and woof of an announcer’s existence “in diesen

heil’gen Hallen.