Mona, I certainly agree with you that nobody other than a subject of the Crown should bow or curtsy before Her Majesty unless he or she has a burning desire to do so, or a touch of backache that might be relieved by some mid-evening calisthenics.

However, having sat through Governor Jim Thompson’s testimony at the Conrad Black trial today, I have to say I find American protocol curiously unegalitarian. In court, he was addressed as “Governor” an average of three times per sentence, even though he hasn’t been one for a generation. As I understand it, if you were an Ambassador for three months in 1954, you get addressed as “Mister Ambassador” to the end of your days. In that sense, every post in American public service is the equivalent title-wise to joining the House of Lords.

As to correct form with the Royal Family, I was invited to Buckingham Palace a couple of years back and, having been holed up in the White Mountains too long, thought I ought to refresh myself on court etiquette: it’s “Your Majesty” and “Your Royal Highness” on first greeting, followed by “Ma’am” and “Sir” subsequently. I was all on top of it and ready for my close-up, but made the mistake of taking a complicated phone call just beforehand and arrived a tad late and somewhat distracted. The Duke of Edinburgh came toward me from across the room and I stuck my hand out and barked “Hi!”

He took it very well – as no doubt he and the missus will on this trip. My advice to those who meet ‘em is: relax and have a good time.